Steez at the Movies

I’m one for my last 5, when it comes to seeing a quality film at the theater. I was becoming a tad turned-off to an activity that I love. Half determined to increase the number of movies I was venturing out to see, hoping that probability would, you know, “do its thing.” Half discouraged, wondering when this terrible streak would end.

Thankfully, I did not have to wait long to end said streak. And, the movie that did so … is my YTD Best Movie of 2008.

Disney / Pixar’s Wall-E.

My interest in Wall-E had been building for some time. Partially thanks to: I love mimicking his voice “wallllll-eeeee,” the advertisements were fun and clever, and I’m a sucker for adorable robots(?). For days, even weeks leading up to my opening night viewing, I could be heard doing my best Wall-E impression, my Facebook status often reflected my interest (and growing obsession), etc.

Fear was present, in my head, that I was going to be bit and bit hard for falling (before viewing) for a movie, pledging faith that I was going to see a quality piece of cinema. It was a fear founded not only in the fact that I’ve seen so many poor movies lately but also the fact that I’m not exactly your typically “animated movie” fan and do be completely honest, Pixar and Disney haven’t come too close to impressing me for a good amount of time.

Now with my typical background building / prefacing out of the way, I’ll jump right in.

Wall-E is the best film, in my eyes, of 2008. The preliminary Box Office report indicates a haul of 62mm, which is a solid 13mm under my (presumably) modest estimate. Apparently, glossy action films with Angelina Jolie DO have a great appeal (actually, no that’s not surprising in the least) and Wanted raked in over 50mm. And yes, I will see that soon (I hope). This number, is a bit of a disappoint me to me, seeing as how from an objective standpoint (not my newly establish Wall-E fan boy existence) I figured that it would do more than 2mm better than Kung Fu Panda / Jack Blacks Jack-Assery.

Why did I like this film so much? Well, to begin … My attention span is horrific, to put it bluntly (I think I was tested for ADD, as a child … Maybe my doctor was incompetent, maybe I should be tested for the adult variety). Any movie that can snare my attention, engage me for over 80% of the runtime … is a good movie, in my eyes (as an essential criterion for my extensive, always-changing checklist on what makes a good movie, for me).

Wall-E locked me down for 100% of the time (well, 97ish, if you count my awkward trip from the center of the isle, to the bathroom. Fuck, I hate that.) with a brilliant story of romance, discovery, dedication and hope … against a backdrop of a strong, but far from preachy message (though also definitely a bit more than a tongue-in-cheek treatment) against the inherent evils of consumerism and the need for environmental consciousness.

Can an animated robot be nominated for an Academy Award?

I’m not ashamed that I now have a thing for Eve (eve-a?), despite my initial judgment that she was frigid bitch.

Make time, very soon, to go see this film. Please.

Peel back the lid, take a peek.

Harrison Ford, for a good stretch of time has been more notably revered actors of his era. He’s grossed oodles of dough playing some of the box office’s most recognizable, macho-yet-cerebral, shining-image-of-American-Ideology characters.

Sure, as Han Solo he’s the cool ying to Luke’s awkward yang. I’d make a Patriot Games / Jack Ryan comment, if I’d ever seen any of those movies. He’s fucking Henry Jones Jr. (“we named the dog Indiana. Indiana is a dog’s name”). Being Ridley Scott’s vision of (Philip K. Dicks) Rick Deckard must have been cool as shit too.

He is … GET OFFFFF MY…PLANE!

I don’t like Harrison Ford. Never have. An over-actor, someone who never explored much range; old balls. Then, to boot he dates Calista Flockhart (is that still going on?), dons a single earring, and does Indy 4 (see: my glowing review)!

My favorite Harrison Ford movie, for as long as I can remember, is Regarding Henry.

…

You know who likes to where golf/polo shirts and cargo shorts?

And backwards hats?

And smoke cigs?

Frat guys? No. Your douche-bag, kinda-older-than-you cousin who never went to college? Nazzir.

I’ll save us both some time … the answer is lesbians. Butch lesbians. Their number in ranks is fucking staggering and on one hand they irritate the living hell out of me (see: forthcoming blog post on Lesbian Karoake night… what y’all call Wednesday), but on the other … they tickle my funny bone. What, with their “Friends don’t let friends take home ugly girls” T-Shirts (thanks lesbian version Snorg) and their much-thicker-than-mine legs.

Do you think this particular path they’ve chosen, means they’re more likely to enjoy / be knowledgeable in sports? Or do they do typical woman stuff … just in a cut-off t-shirt?

I think I’ve found a social experiment. Fire up the bunson burners, dust off my lab coat, kids!

…

I like the idea of super-smart cats who are sent into space as contributing, respected astronauts.

day of fathers.

Father’s Day, the day for saying “hey pops, thanks… you know, for being my dad/grandpa.” It’s a good thing we have such days set aside to honor 50% of the parties responsible for your existence. Thanks greeting card, tie, and Tommy Bahama manufacturers, for putting this whole thing together. I’m not a Dad, but I’m sure that if I were, I’d tell you that I appreciate it.

My Father’s Day consists of precisely 5 must-have telephone conversations. No, it’s not because I am the product of an early 80’s gang-bang in which none of the participants wanted to find out who I really belonged to, because not only were DNA testing solutions ridiculously expensive at that point-in-time, but also because they shared the bond of friendship and could not bare to think of a sole-fathership for their darling, bouncing baby Nicholas. (Now, THAT’s the premise for a TV show. Fuck “My TWO Dads,” I gots 5.)

No, no… That is not the reason for my phone calls.

Both of my parents (sharp, glowing, sound people) were the products of broken homes, in most cases (3 out of 4) their parents remarried and established their second marriages before I was born. With this in mind, I’ve always had 4 sets of Grandparents. Big thumbs up to multiple Christmases and such.

After making the rounds, having conversations no shorter than 5 minutes, I realized what’s been true for a good amount of time, and certainly my entire adult life. I’m not as close to some grandparents, as I am others, but that doesn’t mean that I don’t love those I have less frequent interactions with… It just means I have more to learn about them, sadly in a limited time frame (how limited? You never know.).

Okay, this post is about Father’s Day, not my Grandparents. My Dad, is the single most influential person in my life. My Grandfathers, they bring their own unique qualities to the table of our relationship, always in a positive way. What is it like for those individuals out there that don’t have that? That have abusive, neglecting, or terrible excuses for men as fathers … as Grandfathers. I have no scientific backing to this, nor am I a statistician but I believe my situation is, sadly, more unique than that experienced by most children out there.

My Dad taught me to be fair, in all that I do. Other children experience the act known as “the bad touch,” the feeling of a father’s fist of frustration and anger and so on.

There’s an opportunity to further dive into the psychological affects of abusive fathers, but I’m not after that. Driving around, enjoying the Sun today (yes, having the majority of the aforementioned conversations), I thought about how grateful I am to have the family that I do.

That is all.

Steez at the Movies

My calendar says it is June. I don’t believe my calendar. And it’s not just the weather. Shit just doesn’t feel an ounce like summer. Well, to me that is.

With another wet and (fairly) cold hand dealt to the greater Seattle area today, some friends and I decided that a Saturday-Rainy-Afternoon-Double-Show-Day-at-the-Movies Day was more than in order. It’s been, no shit, probably 8 (if not 9) years since I’ve done that last. If my memory serves me correctly, the films were first Boiler Room and second Pitch Black.

I would’ve killed to have been viewing those films today in exchange for the 2 movies we did select. First: The Strangers. The Strangers is the latest horror film to successfully not be as cool as its trailer. Most horror movie trailers look like trash, and you wonder “who watches those movies?” But others will sport a great preview and then utterly fail to follow through (a small number has the great trailer / film combo. Like “The Descent”). Whereas I didn’t like the movie, at all, I have been pretty intrigued with the story behind it, the director’s inspiration. Part real life experience, part Manson Family murders, part grisly random stabbing-crime from the 80’s. Hands down, the best part of the film was the music.

With some time to kill before the second movie, thanks in part to The Strangers having (I shit you not) a 79min run time, we ducked into a variety of theaters (after scaring children waiting in line for Kung Fu Panda). Sex and the City, 2 different theaters, 2 different points in the movie … Same result, us giggling at the fact we were there.

With the second movie still a ways in the future, we bit the bullet and subjected ourselves to 20 rounds of the same ads and movie trivia (I guess you can call it that). Thanks again, The Strangers.

20 minutes.

Showtime… Indiana Jones and the Crytstal Skull Thing That’s Actually an Alien Cranium!!!! With Shia LeBeouf AND that lady who was in the other Indy, because *oh dear, spoiler* it turns out that Indy is his dad! Whaaat!

Honestly, this movie was the biggest pile of steaming, gleaming Hollywood bullshit that I’ve cared to even look at in a long, long time. That’s really all I have to say about it.

In other, more hopeful movie news… I’m checking out M. Night Shyamalan’s “The Happening.” Don’t you let me down, Marky Mark. After that, we have some Hellboy II and most importantly… the summer’s true (sorry RDJ and Iron Man) heavyweight, “The Dark Knight.”

(So the movie Gods, in fear that I was angry with today’s events have decided to throw me a bone … “Silence of the Lambs”, starting on A&E…NOW).

And that, is Steez at the Movies.

Oh Spare Me!

Okay, NBA. Okay, David Stern. Okay, media.

YOU GOT WHAT YOU WANTED!

Giant Media Market #1 vs. Giant Media Market #2.

The history, the renewed rivalry. The rapist, the stabbing victim.

And just think, all it took was creating an environment in which the home team was victorious 85% of the time. Bad calls, no calls, timely bad calls, technicals… with Tim Donaghy nowhere close to any arenas. Joey Crawford? Well, that of course, is a different story.

By no means am I saying that neither of the finals teams don’t deserve to be where they are (The Celtics had the luxury of coming through the oh-so-competitive East). They may have been assisted along the way, but the Lakers are the most talented team in the NBA. The Celtics? Well, the Finals only marks another round they’ve advanced to without the wheels falling off.

So where does all of these leave me? Changing the channel at the first sight of Lakers/Celtics related promotion, or ESPN segment? I thought that was the case, but it turns out the mute button helps me escape the audible Kobe-blowing heard coming from Stewart Scott’s direction at any given point in time. (However, I fear this is only as effect because I have my head down, typing. Motivation to write more? Wouldn’t that be a strange blessing.)

It leaves me boycotting basketball, dedicated to not having any hoops shown on my TV again until the Olympics.

It leaves you … with the NBA Conspiracy Finals.

(By the way, Lakers in 5.)